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Aug. 21st, 2007 @ 09:22 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
so its that time again.  summer is ending and im getting ready to go back to school.  its very bittersweet.  last summer i couldnt wait to get away from the hell i was living at home, but this summer was different for obvious reasons.  this was definitely the best summer i've had in awhile...being 21 and going out for drinks with friends, being able to practically live with Andy, having a good paying job for once in my life, and just staying busy in general and having fun with friends and everything.  but i am ready to go back to school.  it always takes me a bit to realize im ready, but i always am.  its just always that shock in the last couple weeks where im like "shit...i need to start thinking about school again..."  i just get anxiety about the transition...saying goodbyes, organizing my life, packing, etc.  but the last couple days has made me feel better.  some good back to school shopping trips and such made me feel better and more prepared.  im always excited to go back, i just hate the process to get there sometimes.  but i am very excited about this year and living up my last year in college.  im exciting about where im living, roommates, being 21 (hey...it doesnt get old okay!) and even some of my classes and other stuff im doing this semester.  but one thing i have realized this summer is that i will be ready for the end.  i mean, im obviously gonna miss everything....friends by far..nothing will ever replace the experience i had with my friends at college.  but in the big picture of my life right now, i am ready to move on and do the next step...whatever that is...just something different.  i guess being more independent of my parents has made me realize that i am ready for those next steps.  i always dreaded the whole after college thing cuz i felt like i wasnt gonna be ready...but i do feel ready now. andy has definnitely had a positive influence on my life bye allowing me to see life in a more realistic way.  i guess having a more adult relationship has made me come to terms with the fact that i am becoming an adult and i am okay with that. its interesting to talk to my friends from home and all say what we want to do after college or what kind of jobs we want or where we want to live and blah blah blah. its just weird cuz it seems like just yesterday we were all talking about what college we were thinking of goingto.  but its nice to know that we are all in the same place.  its nice to know that like me...we have all had an amazing time at school and love our times at home...but we are ready to move on with our lives, even if that means not seeing each other for very long periods of time.  but thats life.  we cant stay in this unrealistic world of parties every weekend, all of our friends living a little car ride away, and the worlds we live in at school, which i like to call the "bubble."  we cant stay in these bubbles forever.
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Date:August 22nd, 2007 03:14 am (UTC)
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Yeah, as much as I say I'm excited I am still scared shitless. Just FYI. I'm gonna puke on graduation day.